Monday, May 14, 2012

House Stuff

Shall we talk new house? We really haven't discussed it much huh? All is going fairly well. We moved in on April 27 but didn't sleep here until April 28. Everything has been a very slow process which has been frustrating. For a week the only furniture in here was a sofa, 3 barstools and a mattress on our master bedroom floor. The upstairs is now almost complete except for the bonus/theater room. It is a hot mess full of "there's not a spot to put this stuff yet" stuff. Everything is slowly starting to find a home.
It's never taken me so long to move in and get settled. I guess over the years you just accumulate more stuff. Even though I'm not one to hoard and am quick to get rid of anything that's not been used for a year.
That's another problem--hoarding. Scott hoards paper. Bills, taxes, bank statements...apparently we must keep them all for 5 years. It's been a nightmare. I've taken over bill payments now and (obviously) I need it all organized. It was previously in a big mess all thrown together. I've created a very organized file cabinet and let me tell ya, it's taken hours to get organized. We've (Scott) filled
up 2 trash bags of unnecessary paperwork. It's ridiculous. I'm the kinda gal who doesn't want one thing in her guests closets for those 3 times a year a guest actually stays at the house. Unnecessary clutter drives me crazy!! We have to keep every receipt, bank statement, bill, tax crap and now, a gozillion warranty papers for our new appliances...just in case. My OCD organizationess does not appreciate the clutter of these unnecessary documents taking up my space. I'm a throw the bill away once you pay it kinda gal. My husband would keep it all for the next 50 years "just in case." I'm working on this....
Sometime this week we should finally get our bed. I'm beyond ready. Not having my bed means I can't decorate my bedroom. If I don't have my bedroom somewhat decorated this week I will go insane. I want to cry when I wake up every morning--at the crack of down--when the sun comes up. That's when I wake up. The butt crack of dawn. Because I don't have curtains and the sun beams through. I literally want to cry. I don't nap in the sun unless I'm on a beach and a solid 4 Miami Vices are in my system. I hate it. Hate! I never say hate but I hate my bedroom right now. Please oh please let my bed arrive this week.
I have gotten a few spots perfected. I've filled a few frames with my doodlebug. Holly visited our house once and I'm so glad I took 2 photos of her in it. I've framed both.

This one of her in front of our fireplace is in an adorable new frame in my kitchen.

And this one was taken in my bedroom and I've put it in a pretty frame where it's resting perfectly on my nightstand. The pictures make me sad right now but I'm SO glad I took them of Hol in my new house. They're a treasure.
I'm sure some people are tired of reading about my sadness but that's just where I am. This blog has always been about my life and this is my life--it's really sad right now. It is getting easier but I still cry every day. I miss my sweet baby girl so, so much. My new normal is beginning to feel more normal. It's still hard though. I love Holly SO much. I still can't believe this is happening even though it's been over a month. Grieving is hard. I've never really done it. I've lost a child.
But I'm healing. Life picks up. It gets better everyday. But it doesn't mean you don't still hurt. You'll always hurt. Hurting is okay though. It's just a way of your heart reminding you how crazy in love you were with the one you lost.

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