The Final Month

Campbell's due date is one month from today! I can't believe his arrival is getting so close. I was reading one of my baby apps this morning and it said "soon you'll be a mother. Enjoy the moments, even the painful ones--your body is working hard to get your baby into the world." It made me pause and think about everything I've been through the last almost nine months. Pregnancy is hard work but I've honestly enjoyed it so very much.

I think back to where I was a year ago and I wanted this so badly. All I could think about was being pregnant and having a baby. It consumed my thoughts. I feel really lucky and blessed that our road to baby didn't end up being a very long one. I read stories on peoples infertility struggles and it never fails to make me cry because I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through that. When you decide you're ready for a baby, you're ready for a baby. When we started trying and it didn't work the first time, I was devastated. I cried and cried. Then it didn't work the second time and I was like "I knew it, I'm not fertile." The desire for a baby is enough to make even the most patient woman go a little crazy. When those two pink lines finally appeared on a pregnancy test, I couldn't stop crying. Happy tears this time. The only thing I ever wanted for my life was happening---and I was elated.

I remember being at the mall one day. I was just starting to get a little baby bump that was slightly noticeable to not just me. I caught a glimpse of myself in a store window and I thought to myself "I've never been this happy before." For as long as I can remember, all I've ever wanted was to be a wife and mother. These last months have been amazing to me. It's definitely true that I haven't had the easiest pregnancy. I'm tired, my back hurts, heartburn is horrible, nausea was miserable and I've pretty much been sick this whole entire time. Through all of that though, I'm still one of those women who "loves being pregnant." I have all I've ever wanted right now so I just can't bring myself to complain about the woe's of pregnancy. I feel so very blessed to be able to experience this!

Now this journey is about to come to an end. It's been an amazing one and I think I'll really miss it. But I can't wait to meet my little boy. I wanted him so badly. I prayed for him constantly. I can't imagine what it will be like to see him and hold him and kiss him for the first time. I cry just thinking about it! I love him so much already and I know my heart will multiply a million times when I finally get to meet my sweet, precious Campbell.