Thursday, April 28, 2016

One Month

Bennett's due date is one month from today! It's hard to believe. This pregnancy has seriously flown by so quickly and I can't believe that we will be welcoming another little boy into our family so soon.
Scott and I are really excited about meeting the newest member of our family. We had a little anxiety for a while there and would ask one another all the time if we were up for doing this again. As if we really had an option! Campbell was the hardest baby ever and it's scarred us a little. Okay a lot. For the first half of my pregnancy I cried all the time. I wanted so badly to grow our family but I was so nervous and worried about having another hard baby again and all that it entails. I was sitting in my bible study one day and the speaker said something about worry stealing our joy and tears instantly filled my eyes. I started asking people to please pray for me and I know that these prayers have not only been lifted up on my behalf but have truly been answered. I have such a calming peace that only He could give me.
I'm not worried about having a hard baby anymore. I just want to have a baby and love another baby and that's as far as I'm going with it. I can't even imagine how wonderful it would be to have an easy baby but if I don't then I don't and there's nothing I can do about it. I just don't even focus my mind on that anymore. All I think about now is this sweet little boy and how fun it's going to be to have another. I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that I am going to love another person as much as I love Campbell. It fills my heart up with so much joy whenever I think about that.
It took us a while but we have officially decided on a middle name for this little boy. He will forever be known as Bennett Graham Johnson. Scott picked his first name and I picked his middle name. We got both names from my favorite baby name book, A is for Atticus. I think Campbell and Bennett sound nice together!
I could be wrong but I definitely don't think it will be a whole month before we meet this little man. I have a feeling that he's going to come a little on the early side like his big brother did. I almost don't want to even say that because I'll feel silly when June comes around and I'm still pregnant!! My mothers intuition tells me it's going to be sooner rather than later though. I guess we'll just have to wait and see! I'm perfectly happy waiting until he's ready to come. If he wants to come early, great. If he wants to come late, that's just fine too. I know things could change in a few weeks but I'm perfectly comfortable and content these days and unless it's medically necessary, I definitely don't want to be induced. It's fun going into labor on your own so I hope that's the path I get to take again.
One way or another, we get to hold him in our arms very soon and start our new life as a family of four. My heart is so very happy and excited about that. I'm ready to do this thing whenever Bennett is!!

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