Monday, August 12, 2019

The Night Before Kindergarten

"Dear God, I pray I have a good day, make friends, and love my teacher. Amen."
Campbell goes to kindergarten tomorrow. He is nervous and worried. I'm anxious and sad. This morning I was prepping fruit in my kitchen. Washing it, cutting it up, and getting it all ready to easily throw in a lunch box this week. And I was so emotional. I was thinking about Campbell as a baby and how I always knew, when he was a baby, that this day would come and how different it would make my life. Now here we are. We got here fast.
Deep inside my heart I am excited for Campbell. I really believe he is going to love kindergarten. I think he's going to make a lot of new friends and enjoy learning. Right now, the night before he goes to kindergarten, I am a nervous wreck. He cried when we said goodnight tonight and said "I want you to stay with me." It was all I could do to hold the tears back and not cry with him. This kindergarten world is so big and unknown to Campbell and not knowing what to expect is scary. I honestly have no idea if he'll cry when we leave or if he'll put on a brave face. But I know it won't take him long to warm up and feel okay. 
It's scary to hand my baby over. I think of him walking to his class all by himself and he just seems so young to be doing that. What if he gets lost? The building is so big for a five year old. I imagine him standing in the lunch line. Will he speak loud enough to tell the ladies what he wants to eat? Will they understand him? What if he drops his lunch tray while he's walking to his table. What if someone is mean to him? If he needs to go to the bathroom, will he feel okay asking to go? What if he needs a hug? 
I've kept my baby safe and loved for his entire life and now this big world is going to be opened up to him. He's going to be forced to become a lot more mature and a little more brave. I'm so excited to see him grow and shine but I sure am going to miss my buddy. Our sweet, simple days at home are no longer. It feels surreal. It's bittersweet. It's going to be sad tomorrow but it's also exciting. All the feelings, all the emotions. I pray my sweet boy has an amazing day, and an amazing year. 
Okay kindergarten, let's do this!!

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