Thursday, January 23, 2020

Wells Andrew Is One

Somehow my baby turned a whole year old today. In perspective one is still such a tiny number but looking back on this year I can't believe how quickly it went by. It's such a cliché mom thing to say but it has truly been the fastest year of my life. Which is interesting since it's also been the busiest! I guess that's why it went by so fast.
It's a sweet, sweet treasure--that third baby. Or maybe it's when you know it's your last baby. Perhaps a combination of the two. At times I have been able to step outside the chaos of the overwhelming duty that comes with being Wells mother and I've looked at him so differently than I did my other two. I assume it must be how a grandparent feels--truly just enjoying the children. Not that a parent doesn't, of course, but I think sometimes as a parent you're just trying to make it to the end of the day that you forget to stop and enjoy even the smallest of moments. I also feel like when you're a parent you're quick to diagnose your child as being so big. With each milestone they take in life, you suddenly see them as being older and more capable. They're crawling, they're so big! They can feed themselves, they're so big! When in reality, they aren't so big. They're so, so tiny. With this third baby, I truly was able to step back from the stress and chaos and simply enjoy him and soak up every moment of him being a tiny little baby. I've done this before and I know how quickly it goes by so I wasn't about to let time steal all of the precious moments away from me. I sat still and let it all in.
I know without a doubt I can look back on Wells first year of life and say I absolutely soaked up every moment. My patience during the sleepless newborn nights was nearly poetic. The mom who loves sleep was just fine without getting any. Those middle of the night feedings were my only quiet, alone times with my baby and I actually found myself enjoying that sweet, fleeting time. Each milestone, no matter how big or small, gave me pause. I wanted to truly relish in the moment because I knew it was my last time to experience it.
I feel like a really old mom sometimes. Not necessarily just in age (although I am almost 35 which does kind of seem old for this stage of life sometimes!) but in wisdom. I'm not saying I have all of the answers when it comes to motherhood because I don't. But I sure do have the confidence in knowing what I'm doing this time around. It's so refreshing to mother with such confidence. I don't have that confidence when it comes to my oldest child. He continues to be my learning curve and bless his heart, that will always be the case. But with my baby--I've got this. And that's a good feeling.
This sweet little chapter of my life where I have tiny babies has come to an end. Granted, Wells is still a baby--but you know what I mean. It's a little sad truthfully. I absolutely love babies. I love newborns and wish I could relive that high you have from those first few weeks with your newborn over and over and over. It's a euphoric state that I seem to get myself into that I've never experienced any other time in my life. Those first few weeks where all you want to do is stare at your new's indescribable.
Wells has been such a precious little soul and brings our entire family so much joy. We all think he's just about the most adorable thing there ever was. His brothers are obsessed with him and his mom and dad are too. His first year has been so sweet and I get emotional that it has come and gone so quickly. However, I am so excited to see the little boy he grows into. I never wish for time to stand still and I never ask my kids to stop growing up. I love watching them grow. It has been my greatest joy in life. Now I have an entire year to look back on with such fond memories. It was exhausting and I absolutely felt as if I was pulled in every single direction. I couldn't manage any more than I have now, even if I wanted to. Three is the limit and all I'm capable of! But three was always my dream, for as long as I can remember. Wells made that dream come true in the sweetest, most surprising way and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world that he (and his brothers!) are all mine. Happy Birthday Wellsy! You are the perfect grand finale and I love you more than words could ever express!

1 comment:

  1. "which does kind of seem old for this stage of life sometimes!" --->Only in Arkansas, HA! Totally the norm here for people to have kids in their mid 30s ;)